Happy Father’s Day!

Happy Father’s Day dad. I wonder where you are and whether you and my brother still think about legal cases. I know you both are watching over me as I have taken over responsibilities that I never thought would be mine. I am grateful you taught me how to take care of things and both of you always helped me when I needed help. I think a lot of when you were sick dad and the night before your last night I lied to you when I went to the hospital and told you I slept and woke up early at four in the morning to be with you. I really was at the hospital lounge so you thought I slept because I couldn’t sleep knowing you were alone and very sick in the hospital. I am glad you didn’t know you had cancer for the last 6 months of your life and only found out 10 days before you died.

You said you were tired and a little under the weather but you didn’t have to suffer as long by not knowing. I was so glad I came to see you in the hospital and we had some time alone so I could read you the card I made for your surprise birthday party that we couldn’t have. I am glad we all could come together by your bedside and have everyone holding hands. We were full circle with almost all of your children and grandchildren united in our love for you.

Happy Fathers Day to my older brother! I really miss you so much. I was so lucky that you were always there for me whenever I needed you. I know you were very ill but I thank you for helping me get my paperwork done. I also loved getting to work in your legal office and I treasure the days you took me to court with you so I could see all the great work you did. I kept my promise to you and found the most precious thing you asked me to search for. I know the chemo was tough, but I thank you for letting me go with you, as I understood because I did chemo too. I only wish you didn’t have so many metastatic tumors that grew so fast which could barely be contained.

I still am so surprised you died on Father’s Day, since being a fantastic dad was so important to you and I know how much you loved all of your children and grandchildren. You worked so hard to provide for them and we know how difficult it was for you to have the cruel disease of esophageal cancer take over your body and mind. You stayed with us as long as you could and I hope wherever you are, please know how much we love and miss you. We had such a special bond and a great childhood.

I miss your humor and way of uniting everyone for all the important times. It’s hard without you, but please know I have kept every promise that we spoke about and you and dad are always with me and the rest of the family in spirit.